"Don't go there 'cause you'll never return
I know you think of me when you think of her
But then it don't make sense when you're tryin' hard
To do the right thing but without recompense"
- The Adults Are Talking (The Strokes)
Hope Shopping Center.
There's always been a significant amount of irony when it came to this mall's name. The facade of an outlet where joy and wonder and a future filled with nothing but opportunity and happiness persists only if you're customer with a debit card.
This is all just cheap branding after all.
The truth of the matter is, this mall is nothing short of a waste bin for those whose potential have been snuffed out or those looking to kill time as they wither away. A box of survival.
Service workers like myself are only here because there's nothing else. There's no hope, but there's no despair. All we have is carpe diem.
The present is all we have.
My name is Castor Hayes. I am a cinema worker employed at Hope Cinemas where only a world of possibilities can exist in our screens.
Or some other shit like that.
I'm 24 years old and I make about 25 dollars an hour.
I've had this job for over 4 years now.
Though, honestly? The past couple of years have been a meshed blur. I can barely remember the things that have happened since I started working here.
I graduated from university about 2 years ago and own an Education degree that I can't seem to find work with. The closest thing I have to teaching people is teaching the newer staff how to do shit as a supervisor. Though these days, I've been employed at the milkshake concession counter where I make the damn things all day every day. It's an exhausting job, but its all I have.
The only silver lining that working for Hope Shopping Center does is it gives you housing. Most of us live at the staff complex just across the street because we have no where to go and housing is really cheap. We're free to find a place elsewhere, but in this economy? I'd rather not take my chances.
My work starts at 10 AM, so in about 2 hours. I take the time to go through the motions as I always do. Get up, ignore breakfast because breakfast is just a construct, shower, and put on my uniform. Working at the shopping center, our uniforms are mostly identical. Though the cinema provides us with a small variety that makes us stand out from those that work in retail at the floors below us.
The normal staff crew are given black polo shirts. Those that work the concession or food stands are given decorative shirts with small angel wings designs. Another reminder that hope is supposed to exist.
Its design does little to disguise my pale, tired face and pale grey eyes. If I look any closer, I swear I can see some white on my wavy black hair.
The one thing that all the staff that works the center has to wear is this silver metal cuff we keep on our right wrist. From a distance, it looks like a pretty bulky bangle.
They're meant to be an ID of sorts to allow us to enter through Staff Only doors and the backway. Like a microchip inside it or something. They have our names engraved on it and serve as our namebadge as well. You'd think it would feel tight being on your wrist for about 8 hours a day but it's actually pretty snug and doesn't even feel like it's there. Honestly, one of the few things that even phases me about the jobs is how Hope actually has the budget for such high tech things.
Makes me wonder where the mall is getting their money from.
I walk over to my roommates room to check if he's still here, but he's gone, as usual. It's odd, considering that the Ice Cream bar he runs across the Concession stand I work at doesn't open until 11. But he's never here in the morning whenever I get up. And when I do arrive at the staff room, he's already there relaxing. I'm curious about what he does in the morning, but I don't have the energy to get up just to spy on him jog or something.
I clasp on the bangle and hear it beep as the device whirr to life. It's time to head to work.
~H~
As expected, Reed Torres was lounging at the staff room couch. He had at least another hour and a half before his shift is supposed to start so he's got a Nintendo Switch to keep him occupied.
"Yo." He says, lowering the console from over his head.
I give him a small wave as I put away the lunch I packed into the communal fridge and lock my bag in my locker.
"You opening Milky Way again?" He asks sarcastically.
"You opening Cold Boulder again?" I shoot back. He shrugs.
I sit at the chair across the couch and check my phone. I have 30 minutes before I have to open the shop.
"Any luck?" He asks me.
It's a question I didn't like hearing. My drive had dwindled significantly since the initial months of applying for jobs. A lot of the hope I've had of escaping this place has mostly vanished and I'm stuck here. I usually tell him that I'm still looking. But the number of applications I've sent out have significantly decreased over the years.
"No." I look down at my phone. "I'm still trying."
Reed seems to notice the hesitation in my voice as I say that but turns away, saying nothing. Probably to spare me a lecture. It's not like he can comment on me being here.
At 32, Reed Torres is infamous for being the oldest member at Hope Cinemas in a cinema that employs mostly older teenagers and young 20 somethings.. Yes, Cold Boulder is partnered with Hope. If you think I'm unlucky, Reed has the unfortunate luck of being one of the incredibly flexible staff members who just so happened to be really good at the Ice Cream bar and was forever rostered there. For him, there really was no escape.
I used to hear him complain about finding a job, but after some time of having the same dilemma as I have, he's seemed to have moved on to accepting that he'll be trapped here for the rest of his life. It's probably why he ended up being my roommate. Despite that, he seems to keep that young energy around him. Doesn't stop him from being sassy at the very least.
I hear the door to the staff room beep and another kid enters.
It was one of those teenagers we inducted about half a year ago. I think her name was Jordan.
She was wearing a jacket over her clothes so I can't tell where she's rostered today. Her feet shuffled as she walked to her locker. She eyed us, her eyes heavy looking and exhausted. Her eyes lingered to my uniform and she gave us a curt nod before walking off and sitting at one of the rooms across the hall.
"What was that about?" I ask.
Reed looks over to where she was walking before returning his attention to me. "You didn't hear this from me, but I hear she was getting placed somewhere else for training. Alo told me she overheard the managers giving her some pep talk about how her customer service performance have started slipping
"Really? But wasn't she one of those trainees who immediately picked up on all the roles and learned what to do on the fly? Last I heard, she was even being considered for a supervisor role."
Reed raised his finger. "Well, according to Keith, she's seemed burnt out some time ago and had gotten so frustrated that she had a mental break at the back rooms of the Popcorn stand. Said she started slipping after that day."
"I'm surprised no one's done that sooner." I say. My phone beeps, notifying me that my shift is about to start so I have to go down and get briefed. "I got to go. I swear, Reed. You gossip with these kids too much."
He chuckles and brings up the Switch back up to his face once again.
~H~
There were two managers on at the office at this moment. Gigi and Kai. Kai was one of those irritably excited people you'll meet at least twice in your lifetime. He had climbed up and taken promotions as fast as customers could buy tickets from the ticket machines. Gigi was a co-worker of mine who was recognized for her calm demeanour and hard work. Though I suppose she was better at hiding how much she bitched about this job around the managers than we did because she was as about as vocal as I and Reed were about being miserable here.
"Hey champ!" Kai practically squeaks. "Just the usual today. Oh, but we've got one more thing we need you to do for us."
There was a knock on the door and Gigi opens it up for the next employee.
It was Jordan. She was fitted with a uniform I could not ever mistake.
She was rostered onto Milky Way with me. Reed's gossip continues to be accurate as usual.
"We're moving Jordan Amber with you for the day." Kai beams, but I could tell there was a bit of uncertainty in his inflection today. It was quick, but sounded odd from the man who always seemed so confident and full of himself. "We're going to be checking whether some training in here could boost up her already impressive skillset."
I look over to Gigi, who gave me a troubled side eye.
"Management." A radio on the desk buzzes. "We need some help up here regarding a patron."
Kai turns to Gigi. "I'll handle it. Can you give em the rest of the briefing?"
She nods as Kai exits the office.
"Here." Gigi hands us radios and a a box of cash for the till. "Jordan, why don't you go ahead over to the stand. I just need to speak with Castor for a second."
There was an uncomfortable look in her eyes before she nods and heads on out first.
Gigi turns back to me, a strange silence emanating between us before she sighs.
"I know you've heard the rumors. Reed doesn't exactly shut up. But let me go ahead and give you some context. I've received some data and feedback from a bunch of the higher ups and they're worried about the state Jordan is in. She was in line for a promotion some time ago but after her mental break, they've decided to put her on probation because she keeps slipping. I'm not always here to understand why, but when I asked her if something was wrong, she wouldn't tell me anything."
She turns to the large monitor that checks on employees working around the area. Jordan stood outside Milky Way's staff entrance, seemingly holding herself in comfort.
"Most of the managers are worried about lowered productivity. But I'm worried she's losing it. I don't know if this is a home thing or whatever personal thing is going on. But I can only offer help if she accepts it."
"What's management going to do if she doesn't get any better? Does she get fired?"
"It's not that simple." She says. "You know as well as I do about the Everlasting, right?"
The hair on the back of my neck stands. How could I forget about it? The Everlasting was a form of extra evaluation that happens after a random monthly performance evaluation. It doesn't happen all the time, but it has occurred on random intervals. No one has been able to trace when it's supposed to occur, not even Reed and his infinite gossipy wisdom.
The Everlasting was a program for employees chosen into a group and lead into that section of Hope Center called the Ebony Gate. It's more of a closed off wing of sorts, though. Most of us were told that this area is for Corporate and IT. So basically an office building.
We never questioned when people are ferried over to that section, but I assumed it was a form of training and discipline seminar that corporate inducts their employees in.
Though it's not often talked about since it doesn't occur as often as we'd dare to talk about, but a lot of employees who end up going into the Everlasting either quit or never come back. The handful who have returned end up do seem to be better... But they never talk about their experiences within it. No one has any actual evidence about what goes on or what's talked about.
"...What do you want me to do about it?" I ask.
"Look. I know you can train her just fine. What I want you to do is to try and befriend her. Be there. See if you can find out anything and give her advice. You're a fellow employee. I'm sure she'd be much more willing to share things with you than some manager she barely knows."
"So you want me to spy on her. Gigi, I barely know her myself."
"This is all I can do and all I ask of you. You don't have to report to me about it." She looks down, sighing a bit before returning her gaze to me. "Castor. Today is the monthly evaluation. And I've got a bad feeling that tomorrow will be the next Everlasting."
~H~
I try to keep a neutral face as I teach Jordan about opening procedures. Knowing that there's a chance for the Everlasting to happen soon and she's a high risk of being evaluated worries me. What am I supposed to do to help this 19 year old? It's not like I can just shake the truth out of why she's having such an intense existential crisis. I've got my own shit to worry about, not to mention I could end up being brought into the Everlasting as well.
I look over to her, her back facing me as she examines the blenders and toppings we keep out front.
"So, you ever make a milkshake before?" I ask bluntly.
She shakes her head. "Though I guess it depends on what kind."
I think this is actually the first time I've had a conversation with her.
"Our milkshakes are mostly fruit based with some ice cream. We just blend the ingredients as shown by the instructions and put whip cream on top. If they ask for a thickshake, just add an absurd amount of ice cream."
"Okay..."
"Do you have any questions?"
"No. I think I got it."
We didn't really have any special items in our menu so the logic of all the flavours given follows the same procedures. It really wasn't difficult. But people moan about this area a lot, saying it was too much work. Cold Boulder the only other area worse than this.
Reed waves happily from across as he begins opening up the Ice Cream Bar.
I sigh, waving back at him and lean across the work bench. "How can he be so cheerful working a place he's so sick of. Not that I'm one to talk."
She looks at me, seemingly catching her attention. "What do you mean?"
I stare back at her exhausted eyes. I never noticed it before but it's not even just her eyes anymore. The tiredness has seemingly seeped to her bronze skin, making her seem unhealthy. Her curly hair is trying to keep itself together in a messy bun, but its a bit frazzled. The hat is doing little to cover it.
"Surely you've heard of people talking about me and Reed still being here despite our ages. It almost feels like we're trapped because we don't have a choice."
She flinches a bit. "Really? Don't you want to get out of here?"
I look down. "Of course I do. It's just taking longer than I'd like."
"What if you can't get out?"
"I'm not about to accept that." I say half heartedly. I've told myself these words before to try and comfort myself. These days I hardly believe myself. But I have to or else I'd have nothing. "There's got to be a way for a better life, y'know?"
"But..."
"What's wrong?"
I can see her eyes tear up but she looks away to wipe it away. "I've been faced with the reality that I might not be leaving here. These days, I don't think I can."
She looks at me, as if to see if I'll respond to it. When I don't, she continues.
"I thought this would be a fun thing to get into. Put it my resume, get a good recommendation list as I'm finishing University. But I've been told that I might be losing my scholarship soon because I've been slipping up. No matter how hard I try to balance myself, I'm not doing so hot. This job is all the insurance I have. My family isn't that well off and any expenses I had to have relied on that scholarship and anything extra was from this job."
She slides down to the floor and chokes. "What am I supposed to do? I don't want to work here forever."
"Take a loan?"
"I don't know if this job can even pay it off."
Oh man. Damn it, Gigi. What am I supposed to say to that? That's way worse than what I'm going through.
She exhales, scratching at her head in frustration.
I slide down next to her. "I can't tell you what you can and can't do. But instead of thinking of the ways you can fail, maybe try and see what you can do to improve your situation. Is it absolutely sure you're going to lose your scholarship or do you have time?"
"I... I have half a semester."
"See? Then there's hope."
"But is that enough? And what about work?"
"Use your annual leave. Take time to study or something. Quit if you have to. There's still hope for you, you know. You don't have to end up an old geezer like me."
She smiles and wipes her eyes. "Thanks.
"Excuse me." We stand at the customer's voice. "Uhh, can I get a chocolate milkshake please?"
~H~
Break time is the time of day I look forward to the most. There was an obnoxious amount of customers today but having a second person on made it so much easier. And now I've got time to enjoy the fried rice I slaved over last night. Life's little pleasures.
The staff door swings open and I find Gigi and Kai walking over.
"Oh hey." I say. "It's rare of you guys to take your break here."
Gigi shakes her head and looks over behind her.
"We're just showing Ophelia around. She'll be conducting the performance evaluations today."
Behind them, a tall, blonde woman wearing a white lab coat approaches us.
"I must say, you have a very organized staff room." She spots me eating my lunch. "Oh. Hello."
My fried rice practically gets stuck on my throat as I tried to swallow. "Oh, uh... Hi. I'm-"
"Castor Hayes, yes? I've read your file."
"O-Oh."
She giggles. Giggles. "Sorry. I hope I didn't make you nervous or something. I just try to remember faces when I go over staff files. Anyway, it's nice to meet you."
"S-Same to you."
She takes a seat across me and sets her files down, then takes a out a sandwhich from her purse. The randomness caught even Kai of guard.
"We could take you to the office if you want to take a break before we continue the tour." he stutters through that failing smile.
"That's okay." She chuckles. "I want to get to have my lunch in a staff room. It makes me nostaglic, you know? The power dynamic just doesn't sit right with me."
The managers stare at each other, unsure of what to do next.
As if she read their minds, she beckons them over. "Come. Why don't you join us?"
Yeah. Sure. Invite them to join the 30 minute break I have to myself.
"We'll be sure to extend his break by 10 minutes for interrupting him, right?"
Wow, maybe she IS a mind reader.
The two could only nod, trying to appease the evaluator from corporate.
"W-We'll just get our lunches." Gigi says, taking Kai to retreat back to the managers office.
When they're out of earshot and our sight, Ophelia laughs.
"Sheesh. Some people are so uptight you know."
I just smile, taking a spoonful of my fried rice.
"Oh, don't be like that. Look, it's my first time doing this evaluation thing and I'm already sounding like the big bad corporate monster. Surely my colleague who usually did this didn't make you uncomfortable."
Actually, the usual evaluator, Collin, was a pretty straightforward, business only guy. He was polite but we knew what to expect from him.
Ophelia was... a wild card that I didn't expect.
"I'm sorry. I really hope I don't make you uncomfortable. I'm not trying to go for that strange, boss is your friend angle. I'm just trying to be relaxed."
"I see." I don't even notice at first, but I've finished actually the fried rice without even realizing. She really distracted me. It makes me kind of sad I couldn't even enjoy my food properly.
She sets her sandw\ich down for a sec. "So tell me. Do you enjoy working here?"
"I guess." I say. What was I supposed to do, say no? Bitch to this stranger about how much I hate being stuck here without a choice?
"If you say so. Look, I know it's not exactly the end all be all of all jobs, but Hope Center wants to make sure we're doing the right thing."
Does this chick ever talk about anything other than work? We're on our lunch break. If I have to talk about work, I'd rather just gossip with Reed.
"What do you see yourself doing in the future?" Is this a job interview or something?
"I'm hoping, pun not intending, that I can get a job as a teacher."
She bites into her sandwich in thought. "Oh that's right. Your file said you graduated with a degree in education. That's very admirable."
"Yeah..." I can't bring myself to say anything more about it. Her tone is friendly, but her approach of trying to seem familiar with me is irritating. It's like she's patronizing me.
"I've heard good things about you from your managers. We're happy to have such a hard working fellow like yourself with us." She sounded almost robotic when she says those words. "But I sincerely hope you achieve what you set your heart out for."
She wipes her mouth after finishing her sandwich and takes a sip of water from a bottle in her purse. Ophelia gets up and turns to leave. "I'll see you around."
What a strange woman.
~H~
The day ended without me having actually been called out to do the evaluation. The managers were taking Ophelia everywhere on a tour. She briefly stopped by to survey our stand before finally finishing the tour and returning to the office. By the time my shift had ended, I've only seen Jordan and Reed get called. I was ignored. I had seen Ophelia in the office on my way out after handing the radio back and all she did was smile and wave at me. Was that little lunch time chat the evaluation?
She was super cryptic. What happened to Collin? Did they shuffle between employees rostered to do this shit too? Still, it's always been Collin for the past few years. But I guess it's not my place to question how these things work.
When I finally reach our apartment, I take off my bangle and uniform. I have to put the clothes in the washer since Hope is cheap enough to not give us extras.
I plop down onto my bed afterwards and sigh into my pillow.
My phone beeps. It was a text from Reed.
"I overheard the managers talking about the evaluation. That Ophelia chick said an Everlasting is going to occur tomorrow. Here's a few names I heard them list down from the Cinema department. I didn't get all of it because the night manager was coming in for his shift and saw me."
As always, I can count on Reed to eavesdrop and know everything.
-Terrence Eagan
-Renee Saunders (Hah. She deserves it)
-Nene Waverly
-Keith Morgan (SHIT. NOT KEITH)
-Lailah Summers
-Jun Chau (Poor kid)
-Freese Svetla
At first, I was glad that my name didn't seem to be on the list. And yet, as I scrolled, I felt a sense of dread knowing there still might be more tomorrow. Then suddenly, the next name sent a shiver down my spine.
-Jordan Amber
-Authors Note-
This is a story I had come up with some time ago with a slightly different plot. Supposedly a one off. As I developed an idea, this story evolved into something more. To the point that this isn't even the main story anymore. This background story is a prequel of some sort that's supposed to give a bit of context to what I intend to do soon. This was originally going to be only one part, with another story connected with it to give it context but not be a continued part. But with how I've written it, I don't think I will be able to condense it in one part. It would end up being too long if I placed it in one. This way, I'll have time to properly think about how I'd do it and finish it. In that sense, I hope I've managed to somewhat set the tone for it.
-MaxAxil